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This was written in 2008 on another site.

It is fictional, but, as is the case with much fiction, there is some truth in it.

Resolution Through Self Reflection

For many, many years, I lived with the belief that if everybody else in the world would only conform to my standards, then that elusive peace and happiness I sought would come to fruition. My unresolved issues had accumulated to the toppling point, exponentially intensifying with increased frequency and duration my feelings of both desolation and despair. My set of friends was nearly empty, and I was questioning whether or not I even liked myself.

One day, out of nowhere, a package arrived addressed to me. In it was a box, and a simple, unsigned note saying only "I hope this helps you." Inside the box was an assortment of books, tapes, and videos. The topics varied, but the common theme was ‘taking responsibility for my own feelings and actions.’

My initial tap on the medial ligament was one of indignation and insult. I asked myself: "Who would dare to send me this ilk of propaganda?" However, after my foot returned to its relaxed position, I started thinking about it differently. I then asked myself: "Was this assembled and parceled by somebody who truly cares about me?"

There would be no risk involved in giving the contents of the box some consideration, and so I did.

I was simply amazed at the information contained in those books, tapes, and videos! The wealth of knowledge delivered to me in the box, accompanied by that simple anonymous note, was just what I needed to get started!

I studied it all, and reviewed several of the items for clarity and inspiration. I learned that if I were to look deeply inside myself, down to the very core of my being, I would find MY FAULTS that were causing MY PROBLEMS. I also learned that RECOGNITION OF MY FAULTS were the SOLUTIONS TO MY PROBLEMS.

The very thought of going that deeply inside myself was frightening to me. I was scaring myself from this examination of my inner-self. Everything I had learned from those sources promised me resolution, but that there would also be pain in the process.

I started slowly and stayed shallow. I realized that the hole in my wall was MY FAULT for becoming angry at SOMETHING OUT OF MY CONTROL and punching the wall - ouch. When I went a bit deeper, I realized that the lack of progress in my career was MY FAULT because my boss was RIGHTFULLY CONCERNED ABOUT MY ABILITY to supervise my peers - double ouch! If that weren’t enough, I realized that my tenuous relationship with my sister was MY FAULT for envisioning HER CONCERN as nosiness - double ouch squared; that one really hurt!

I felt the need to break so I could regroup, and prepare myself for the increased pain I imagined was forthcoming as the discoveries went even deeper within. I had barely scratched the surface, and I was supposed to go ALL THE WAY TO THE CORE OF MY BEING. To the CORE?! I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go to the next level. As much as it hurt, I was truly finding MY FAULTS at each level of self-examination. The pain, though, was truly accompanied by a sense of inner-peace, similar to when I am certain my checkbook is in balance with the bank, despite not really liking what the balance is - if that makes sense to you.

I stalled for a second cup of coffee.

I said to myself: "You knew you were so right before you started, and you found three faults - so far. Finding the faults was painful, but it brought the relief of reconciliation. You know you need to go to the next level - now."

However, I drained the pot for a third, and final, cup of coffee.

I said to myself: "You already envision fixing the hole in the wall, working more cooperatively with your peers, and appreciating the concern of your sister. You thought you knew it all before, and you were so wrong. You know if you go deeper, you will find more fault and pain."

I took the final sip, breathed a deep sigh, and went back to relax and delve even deeper.

It was amazing! I was wrong again! I have no more faults! It did not hurt at all! The rest of my problems are the faults of others! I never felt better in all my life!

I have the items listed on e-Bay so you may learn how to do this exercise the ways these authors say. If you study diligently, you ought to be able to see what I mean that my other problems are your faults.

However, I wish you will look for my upcoming book entitled Your Faults are My Problems in which I tell you how to do it properly, and its sequel My Problems are Your Faults in which I just tell you what to do!

© 2016 - Goldwing Tom
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